


Aftermath

by Kavan



Category: Peak Practice
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24798796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kavan/pseuds/Kavan
Summary: After Beth's Chance Encounter with Lisa and hypothermia, Beth and Jack have to determine where their relationship goes next.
Relationships: Jack Kerruish/Beth Glover
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. Aftermath I

During quarantine I rewatched Peak Practice and by far my favorite episode was Chance Encounter where Beth endures a nightmarish tragedy which leads to her proposing to Jack. So I decided to write a slightly au post episode fanfic with the idea Jack doesn’t immediately say yes to Beth’s proposal. This will be a four-part fic with a new chapter posted every Friday-and yes all four parts are written. Feedback would be very appreciated.  
_____  
It had not been Beth’s idea to go to hospital. She was perfectly content to rest in Jack’s arms by the fire until he was ready to head back to Cardale. Yes her hand hurt, yes she was cold, but Jack provided the emotional sustenance that she craved. She anchored herself beside him, snuggling her head against his cheek wanting both the warmth and the comfort of his presence. Left to her own devices they would have returned to Cardale together and spent the day sequestered in her small, warm house.  
The damned ambulance attendant had muttered about exposure, fretting about her hand injury. And before Beth knew what was happening, she was being loaded in the ambulance. She wasn’t thrilled about the development, but she had assumed she would still have Jack’s presence. From the moment she had left the inn, Beth had felt her certainties shifting, and from the moment she had awoken in his arms Jack had become essential, a necessary extension of herself.

Instead it was Will who climbed into the ambulance. “Don’t know what’s going on with that irascible partner of ours,” He remarked uneasily clearly trying to affect a bemused tone. “He said he had wart clinic this morning.” He frowned shaking his head, “Imagine that you can escort a beautiful woman to the hospital playing Sir Galahad, and he chooses to burn warts.” He clucked his tongue in mock dismissal, “I do wonder about him sometimes.” Beth wanted to protest, but the ambulance driver had pushed something in her line, before she knew it the world was growing fuzzy and dark, sleep overtaking her.  
__________  
She had dozed fitfully for the rest of the afternoon. The hospital was a circus-young interns had prodded and poked her, immersed her hand in water then dressed it in layers of gauze. A particularly fuzzy cheeked lad had run a line for hydration, which she felt was unnecessary. All the doctors seemed a decade to young and so earnest it made Beth’s head ache. And all the time she kept looking for Jack expecting him to appear. 

Midafternoon her hand which had been numb had begun to throb. The consultant judged this an excellent development, Beth thought it a bloody nuisance. If she was going to be sleepy and achy she wished she was in her comfortable arm chair at her own home, with Conwell dozing at her heels, and Jack sitting on the sofa watching telly. 

Of course, they hadn’t been like that in months. But even if Jack did not want to marry her…yet, Beth knew he would still be right there for her, caring for her, protecting her, being her best friend. And she was convinced that she could show him that they belonged together. She still had not one clue what a wife was, but they could figure it out together. 

They had been getting closer. In the aftermath of Martin Keele’s actions, Beth had realized that she did actually want Jack in the way. She wanted his attention and solace. But of course, she had refused to admit that to him. 

And then the Karen crisis began. At first she had felt angry believing Jack was turning to some random woman, she had tried to play it off as sarcasm but she’d been hurt and furious with herself for rejecting him. Then as Jack requested more time off, she had gotten nervous. Maybe he had found another woman, someone who was willing to commit. Of course, she would have accepted that. She wanted Jack to be happy. But, and she hated admitting this to herself she was relieved when the reality of Karen’s condition came out. Oh she ached for Jack and his loss, and for Karen and her evident agony…but she had been relieved. Jack was still hers. They had begun spending more time off work together again. They weren’t together but they were closer. And then Michael called.

She hadn’t heard his voice for seven years. Then there he was in her ear again…inviting her to dinner. Isabel thought it was a rotten idea. But Beth wondered… Jack had let his great love go…could she do the same. Isabel was right it had been a rotten idea. And then she’d stumbled into a car crash and endured the longest night and morning of her life. 

Every throb of her hand seemed to transport her back into the darkness. Lisa bleeding, the sound of her increasingly ragged breathing, the aching cold, the gnawing fear. She closed her eyes trying to push back the panic, still her mind.  
As a physician she believed in healing, discovering a problem and fixing it. But there was nothing to fix the last twenty-four hours. There was nothing she could do to make up for her mistakes with Michael. There was nothing she could do to bring Lisa back. All she could do is live for each day-honestly and fully. She could only try to be as happy as possible, and she now knew that happiness could only come with Jack at her side. And thinking as such, and with the sedative coursing through her, she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.  
________  
“Dr. Glover was very lucky.” The consultant explained as he and Jack walked slowly down the corridor. “If everything goes well, and I fully expect that it will, I will be discharging her tomorrow afternoon. She can rest at home a few days and probably return to work in a week or so.” The consultant suddenly laughed admitting, “But knowing Dr. Glover if we get her to rest a day or so, I’ll feel we performed a miracle.”

“Thank you so much for everything,” Jack said extending his hand.

“Of course,” The Consultant said as his bleeper went off. “You will excuse me.”

“Oh yes,” Jack watched the man heading for the bank of elevators located just down the hall. Every time he visited a hospital, he remembered why he preferred being a GP. It wasn’t that they weren’t run off their feet. Still, the Derbyshire countryside was a sight better place to be run off, than a series of long white halls. 

Jack had spent the entire day making work, trying to push back the pathetic need to see Beth again. He’d seen more patients than necessary, done a number of call outs. Still by eight o’clock, he’d acquiesced to the inevitable. He had to see Beth, make certain she was alright. He’d even stopped at a florist bought a small bouquet of snowdrops.

Now having ascertain that she was fine, he was at a loss what to do next. A normal fool would just leave. He’d satisfied his concern about her health. No reason to hang about. And the snowdrops were a terrible idea. Probably Beth had forgotten anything she said this morning, it was just gratitude, he’d found her, and she was appreciative. Her proposal most likely meant nothing. She’d give him that half embarrassed look. She would feel sorry that he was such a fool. 

Still he kept right on walking toward her room. Pathetic really. She loved him but not enough. Or enough for her, but not him. He shouldn’t even bother her. He had accepted friendship was all they’d have, and it was nearly enough. Pushing his hopes on to her would be unfair…he hated blokes that did that. Under the influence of the alcohol the night before he’d been willing to risk it all, to boldly tell her he still loved her that they should try again. But then sobered first by fear, then by disillusionment he’d felt that impulse shriveling. 

When they’d found that poor girl and then he’d nearly tripped over Beth’s bag he’d felt an adrenaline coursing through him, naked fear as well. And then he’d only felt a desperate desire to see her alive. Holding her, trying to warm her, besieging her back to life he’d realized he only wanted Beth alive. She could sleep with ex-lovers, she could just be his friend, only alive… Her life was all that mattered. 

That she had allowed him to cuddle her, he thought a matter of course. Of course, she was cold, and she’d welcome any warmth. And they were friends. Then she’d babbled out her, “Marry me.” He thought she had to be joking. Her archly delivered, “You heard me,” had confounded him. And he’d run away like a scared rabbit. He had spent the entire day convincing himself that she hadn’t meant what he desperately wanted her to mean. 

The snowdrops were a gesture of sorts. He wouldn’t have brought flowers if he was coming to see Ellie or Kim. If she had meant… “Naw,” He said out loud trying to dissuade himself from any vestige of hope. 

Stopping in front of her room he tried to think of a pithy remark, nothing came to mind. A nurse walked by him carrying an enormous bouquet of red roses. Two dozen easily. Someone had coughed up some change, he decided. The nurse stopped in front of Beth’s room. Of course, he thought, of course. “Are those for Dr. Glover?” He heard himself asking, even as he chastised himself for being such a needy sad sack. 

“Aren’t they beautiful,” The nurse observed adding, “Are you the love Michael from the card?”

Jack felt his stomach churn answering, “No…I’m just her junior partner.” 

“He must be a really special guy.” Clearly the flowers had impressed her. 

Jack nodded granting, “Must be… I don’t think I’ll bother her this late…”

“Shall I tell her you dropped by?” The nurse asked. “Uh?” She said seeking his name.

“Naw,” He shook his head dismissively.

“What about?” She glanced down at the small bouquet in his hand.

“For someone else.” He said nodding, before turning and walking in the opposite direction. Halfway down the hall he tossed the flowers into the bin and ambled toward the elevators. 

_______  
The first rays of dawn, the following day, found Beth in the foulest of moods. “I thought I would be released this morning.” She balked to the doctor who came in during rounds.

“We have to run a few more tests.” 

“All those stories about haphazard treatment by the NHS.” She stewed irritably. “And I get Dr. Finlay in the flesh.”

“Ms. Glover as you are going to be here for several more hours,” The doctor continued nonplused, “I suggest you relax.”

“Dr. Glover,” She corrected him in a firm and not altogether friendly tone. “And I suppose I have no other choice.” She crossed her arms adding, “For the moment.” She glanced down at the tray the nurse had deposited moments before. “And I’m not eating any of that.”

The doctor narrowed his eyes. “If you are having trouble with ingesting sustenance, we may need to keep you another night.”

“Very clever,” Beth retorted thinly reaching for her fork.  
_______  
“BETH!” Jack sat bolt upright in bed the image of a half-frozen Beth still looming in his mind. He sighed loudly, running his palm down his cheek trying to dislodge the image of a snow-covered Beth from his mind. Beth was alive. Beth was fine, she was tucked up in a warm hospital bed. She was probably smiling at the roses and thinking about the love Michael card. She was probably on the phone chatting up Michael. Jack wanted to dislodge that vision as well. 

Pushing back the covers he heard light footsteps. “Hello beautiful boy,” He called patting Conwell’s eager head. He’d picked up the dog last night on the way home from the hospital, grateful for the company. 

Glancing over at the clock he saw he was due in surgery in an hour. “Better get a move on.” He said giving Conwell a last rub.  
“And you will have to get a move on to,” he informed the dog. 

Stumbling to his feet, Jack crossed into the bathroom. He turned the water on before stripping off his pajama pants and stepping into the shower. He let the cold spray rain down over him, trying to allow it to rinse away the thoughts in his head.  
___________  
Beth had reconciled herself to remaining in the hospital until after lunch and was flipping the channels looking for something to watch when her door swung open. 

“Hello Beth,” A voice intoned. Beth turned frowning at the figure entering her room. “You look surprised to see me.” 

Beth thought he was trying to be charming. “I suppose I am, Michael.” She conceded tensely.

He stepped closer to the bed, “When I heard about your accident…” He shrugged helplessly. “I had to make certain you were alright.” Michael glanced around the room evidently looking for something. “I sent you some roses.”

Beth nodded before explaining coldly, “I had the nurse get rid of them.” 

He stared at her for a moment confusion evident as he stated, “Red roses were your favorite.”

“No, they were your favorite,” Beth replied crossly, the roses had reminded her of a memory she would rather have forgotten. 

“I loved buying them for you.” Michael had a Irishman’s romantic lilt, Beth had known that at the time, but she had forgotten Irish romance is generally tragic. And Michael imbued his romance without seeming to recognize the tragedy was his making. 

“And for your wife as I remember.” Beth had forgotten about that until this morning. Remembered attending a party at his house, his unknowing wife cooing over her husband sending roses near weekly. The shame of that evening had nearly made her sick at the time. And still she’d gone on with him. 

Michael shifted uneasily from one foot to the other. “So I suppose I’m not forgiven.”

“No I have forgiven you.” Beth disagreed before musing, “I think I’m even grateful we met again.”

He brightened stepping closer to the bed asking, “Oh?”

“Seeing you again provided me some clarity about me, about us, everything.” She turned facing Michael stating, “Knowing you, I’d imagine you think a night in the cold has changed things.”

He had the grace to look abashed admitting, “It would sound childish if I said yes, but I hoped it did.”

Beth kept her countenance unreadable announcing, “It did, but not in the way you might imagine.” Reclining her head back against the pillow she began explaining, “I tried to save a girl, she’d had a terrible motor accident….Lisa,” She felt a stab of pain just saying the poor girl’s name. “She had just met a young man. Didn’t tell me for hours that he wasn’t coming and most likely hadn’t called an ambulance to save her life. The power of attraction,” She shrugged acknowledging uneasily, “I was older than her but…” She felt no need to draw the parallel out, Michael was smart if not terribly self-aware. He’d discern her meaning, well enough. 

“Am I the blackguard in the story now?” He queried and she recognized the tetchiness in his words. For so long in Cardale she had let the better side of him dominate her memories. She turned him into the Byronic hero he envisioned himself as, rather than the flawed individual he actually was…

“No I was an adult, I made my own choices.” She acknowledged evenly. “But ours was a destructive relationship. And it’s a little sad it’s taken me so long to recognize that fact.” She studied him waiting for some reaction, yet ever the senior consultant Michael was entirely too cool for that sort of emotion. His expression remained unchanged. She fancied that if they stuck a dagger into his heart, the organ would emerge ice cold frozen solid. 

“It was also very passionate, I cared so deeply for you.” 

“Not really.” She disputed surprised by her certainty. “What we had wasn’t particularly deep or complex,” She went on making no attempt to disguise scorn in her words, “Little secluded dinners in hotel rooms, stolen trysts, passionate but in hindsight loveless. Tawdry and shallow…” 

“My feelings for you were never shallow.”

“I think your feelings for everyone but yourself are,” She disagreed before saying dismissively, “But that is not my concern.”  
He bowed his head asking, “Then you won’t reconsider?” 

“There is nothing to reconsider.” She insisted before continuing coolly. “Michael you didn’t call me for seven years, then we have dinner and you clearly anticipated desert upstairs, I leave telling you I can’t do this, and then send a love Michael card.” She looked at him feeling as if she was seeing a stranger or perhaps the real man. “If that’s your idea of love, I’m afraid it isn’t very appealing to me.” She looked at him for a long moment before finishing acidly. “I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer if you left now.” She turned to the window, staring at the sky until she was certain he had left. She waited for doubts or floods of tears but neither came.  
______  
Will entered the breakroom sighing dramatically, “I swear if I wasn’t afraid, I’d be struck off, I’d have a cognac before every appointment with Alice North.”

Lowering his newspaper Jack grinned speculating, “She might Fancy that.”

“A routine appointment with her feels like a marathon.” Will reached for his mug, all the while continuing to detail Alice’s shortcomings. “She won’t change the way she eats, refuses to get even a modicum of exercise, and still expects me to cure her every ache and pain.” Pouring coffee into his mug he explained, “She came in this morning complaining of chilblains.”

Jack frowned observing, “I thought only characters on period dramas on telly got those nowadays.”

“Indeed,” Will agreed toting his mug over to the table. “But in the course of the visit she reveals she hasn’t turned on her electric fire because,” He paused before dramatically announcing, “It’s not cold enough yet.”

“We should send Beth over to see her,” Jack suggested reaching for his own cup. “They can discuss if it’s cold enough for a fire.”

“Indeed,” Will agreed taking a sip of his coffee and frowning. “This tastes like sludge.” Setting the cup aside he asked, “Are you picking Beth up this afternoon?”

“No,” Jack looked determinedly down at his newspaper. “Isabel is picking her up.” 

“Oh?”

“Makes more sense that way.” Jack explained matter of factly. “Beth and I aren’t together, less pressure on her. She’ll be tired.”

Will sat silent for a long moment. “Well it’s none of my business, and neither of you have ever asked my advice, and judging from the state of my love life that’s probably for the best. But,” He declared flatly. “I think you are being an enormous fool.”

Jack dropped the paper asking,“Wha?”

Will sighed as he reached for the coffee. “You tell me you want to tell Beth you love her, then you get upset because you think she spent the night with an ex. Then you find her, and realize she did not spend the night with the ex. And your response is to rush back here to burn warts off.”

“I had clinic,” Jack protested feebly. 

Will ignored his excuse reminding him, “It was you she wanted in that ambulance. At the hospital she kept looking around the room, and it takes no Inspector Morse to figure out who she was looking for…”

“She was emotional, she nearly died….” Jack insisted offering, “She likely had no clue what she was saying…”

Will angled his head asking curiously, “What did she say?”

“No matter….” Jack retorted mulishly, “I won’t play on her emotions. Can’t force her to feel things…”

“I’ve known Beth for years.” Will reminded him adding, “When I say no one can force her to do anything, I mean no one can force her to do anything.” He scoffed chuckling at the idea. “The idea she would fall into a relationship because it was easy….or because someone forced her…well even Sarah wouldn’t swallow that.”

“Never figured you for the romantic sort.” 

“I’m not,” Will rose from his chair stating, “It’s simply far easier for the rest of us when you two are happy.” Will rose to his feet stating, “Surgery is light this afternoon, I can cover for you. Burn off any unwanted warts.” He offered in a tone that sounded more akin to insisting. “Go spend some time with the woman, if she doesn’t want you around, Beth will be the first to let you know.”  
_________  
Isabel had promised to come and collect Beth after lunch. But as it was nearing three Beth was well past feeling irritated. The doctor had run numerous tests only to tell her that she needed to go home and rest for a few days. He even patronizingly advised her to hydrate. That had been precisely what she wanted to do when they admitted her. Meanwhile, her hand was still aching, yet she knew if she mentioned that fact… she’d get a shot and a few more hours in this torture chamber. 

When the door swung open, she braced herself for more idiocy declaring, “I am leaving this building at the soonest instant.”

“Pity,” A grinning figure greeted her announcing, “The nurses said you’ve barely been in the place a day, and you’ve already lost the Miss Congeniality award. Stay another day and you’d be in the running for most irritating patient ever.” 

Beth felt relief flooding through her, causing her to playfully retort. “Well you know I do like to overachieve.” Teasingly she added, “You don’t look like Isabel.”

Jack grinned stepping into the room, stopping at the foot of her bed, “I left me pearls and purse at home. But the shape of my legs rivals her any day.” He laughed at his own joke before adding, “Will offered to cover things for the rest of the evening. Thought I fetch you home myself.” 

Beth smiled replying, “I’d like that.”

Jack slung a canvas bag off his shoulder offering it to her. “I brought this from surgery.”

It was the bag she kept at work for emergencies packed with a change of clothes and a few other essentials. “Clever old you.”

“I thought so.” He preened presenting a cheeky grin. “Did the doctor give you the all clear?”

“He gave me a patronizing speech and pedantic instructions.” 

“Let me guess,” He predicted mugging. “Lots of rest, drink lots of fluids…” 

“You forgot change the dressing and treat the dermal abrasions with cream.”

“There’s a reason I never became a consultant.” 

“I’m starting to be extremely glad I did not.” She had thought about that last night. If Michael had not fired her she might never have returned to Cardale. She would have missed that last year with her Dad, never really knew Will, never met Jack. Her career might have had more accomplishments, still she would have been the poorer for it. Will, Ellie, and Kim were so much a part of her life now in a thousand individual ways. And Jack well she wanted to share every bit of her life with him. Still she decided not to push him yet, merely smiling and enjoying the sight of him, the pleasure of his company seemed enough for now. “I’m very happy to see you.”

“That’s probably just the pain medicine talking.”

Beth watched Jack as his eyes roamed curiously over the room, seemingly seeking a diversion from her words. “Are you looking  
for something?”

“Where are your roses?” Beth arched her eyebrow causing Jack to confess, “I came by when the nurse was bringing them in last night. You were asleep.”

“So you were here last night.” She confirmed a smile crossing her face. “Why didn’t you wake me?” 

He waved his hand dismissively. “You needed your rest.”

“I would have rested better if I’d known you’d come.” Jack made no response causing her to explain, “I had the roses sent down to another ward.” 

“Someone put out a pretty pound for them.”

“Michael,” She supplied, curious to see just how Jack would react. 

Jack made no obvious reaction asking only, “You sure about sending them away.”

“Completely.” She waited for him to say more but he did not.

The nurse bustled in muttering, “I have your discharge documents.”

Jack ambled toward the door, “I’ll wait out in the hall, whenever you are ready…. Your chariot awakes.” 

“Jack,” She said as he opened the door. “I’m very glad you came to get me.” 

“Glad you’re here to get.” He agreed walking out the door this time with a smile on his face.  
___________


	2. Aftermath II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Beth's Chance Encounter with Lisa and hypothermia, Beth and Jack have to determine where their relationship goes next. 2/4

Beth had traveled the road between Buxton and Cardale hundreds of times. Some of her earliest memories involved riding along with her father from Cardale visiting his more distant patients. Then as a schoolgirl she recalled the quiet tense trips riding down the road with her parents, when her mother sought medical care at the hospital, her mother growing slighter, seeming to fade with each trip. Coming home from university to visit her dad, swearing she'd escape the country for good the second she got her degree. Then the tearstained drive coming home after Michael had her fired. And for the past few years the infrequent trips hauling patients to hospital. The road had been the stage for some of the biggest moments of her life. However, that afternoon she felt she was seeing it with new eyes.

It seemed now a wasteland. A place blown out of time. A barren nightmare of dead and decaying trees, blood staining the snow, hues of brown, crimson, and white and all so very menacing. Even the arthritic tree limbs seemed to be reaching out to yank her back into the cold and darkness. Unsettled and fearing her churning emotions, she pressed her eyes closed and tried to forget.

"You okay?" Jack questioned casting an anxious glance in her direction.

"No," She conceded frankly, "I think it's going to be awhile before I am."

She waited for him to offer some bland reassurance. Instead he granted, "Probably a long while." He turned his eyes briefly from the road promising, "You know I will be there…Will too." He returned his attention to his driving, keeping his eyes determinedly fixed on the road. "Kim and Annie all of us."

Weeks ago, it would have simply been I will be there for you. He was putting the others in the equation, she assumed as a means of respecting the barriers she had erected. The irony being now she only wanted to rip every barrier aside. She knew she could lean on Will, Kim and Annie, but it was Jack she wanted to comfort her. And his reply so distancing reminded her they were clearly on entirely different pages.

"We have divided up the surgery schedule." He explained as if trying to fill up the silence. "Will and I will be taking your nights this week…" Seeing Beth crossing her arms about to protest, he forestalled her objections reminding her, "You've been through a trauma. You need a good rest."

Beth glanced over at him admitting ruefully, "You know I'm absolute rubbish at resting."

"I do know that." He agreed obviously amused at the notion, "But that hand needs some time to heal."

Beth looked down at the swollen, reddish appendage. The throbbing was less today but still bothersome.

"We can't find your keys," Jack, uncertain of what she knew, carried on explaining, "The lad, Sean, left your car in a carpark. Didn't steal anything. We found your bag and mobile. But your keys are missing." He drove on for a moment before continuing, "Kim called to get new ones made, and a copy of one for the surgery, and I have your house key so you can have that one back."

Beth arched an eyebrow challenging, "And then how will you let yourself in." Even when they were apart, he regularly dropped by her house. Sometimes to check in on her, sometimes to visit Conwell…..

"About that," His tone seemed uneasy and he gripped the wheel with atypical force, turning his knuckles white. "I should have returned your key when you… well when you ended things." Jack kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"I never asked for my key back." She reminded him, unhappy with the direction the conversation was taking.

"All the times I popped into your house like that night," He said as if ignoring her last comment.

"Did I ever complain?" It struck her that, that fact alone, the pleasure she had in finding him in her house should have told her this was the man for her. What had she told him that first night I like having someone to eat with…true but only partially. She liked Jack's presence and his company. Liked his funny mutterings, and the way ideas and energy seem to emanate from his brain straight out his mouth. She liked having Jack Kerriush in her house and life.

Seemingly paying her no heed Jack went on, "I realized I had no business being in your house when you weren't there. Or listening to your machine. I honestly wasn't prying; I was just worried." Beth turned glancing at him a perplexed expression on her face. "Michael left a message on your machine," He offered uncomfortably. "That's how I knew about him."

"Oh," She mouthed the penny dropping. "And you thought I was with him."

"I fell asleep on your couch and woke up around five…you weren't home." Jack kept his gaze determinedly focused on the road ahead. "I assumed something was wrong, that you'd had an accident. Even got Isabel out of bed. Then I heard the message."

"And you thought I'd spent the night with Michael."

"Even told Isabel at least we knew you hadn't wrapped your car around a tree. Funny," He said without the slightest hint of humor. "But that doesn't matter…. I apologize for intruding." There was a stout determination to his tone that brokered no room for opposition.

"I'm alive because you were in my house." Beth pointed out looking at the empty landscape. "And I like you intruding."

"You don't want me in the way." He quoted her words of only weeks before.

Beth winced at her words. "I was wrong…I do…." She insisted firmly allowing him no room for argument. "I want you in my way for the rest of our lives."

Jack did not respond instead keeping his gaze on the road.

A sudden contradiction occurred to her causing her to ask, "Jack you thought I was having dinner with a friend…" She posed the question obliquely; confident he would glean her intent.

"I had something to tell you."

"Oh?"

He continued clutching the wheel, only his tense jaw and knuckles betraying his frustration. At length he barked dismissively, "Nothing that matters."

"Is that the fire I started?" Beth questioned catching sight of the debris by the road.

Jack looked over at the roadside, "That's it."

"It felt much, much further out. Like we were on the moon." The whole night had retained an almost cinematic quality. Flickering, haunting images of a world drenched in darkness, followed by a morning landscape blankly white dotted with tracks of red blood. Her heartbeat pounding a virtual tattoo of impending danger.

"Will and I were driving, we saw the remains of the fire." There was a roughness to his voice. "We were looking for the girl, neither of us dreamed you'd be there as well."

Beth let his words sink in. "You still thought that'd I'd snuck off with Michael." Given that she'd assumed the same about Jack during his visits with Karen she could hardly object. It was a natural assumption, it only troubled her that it had come so close to being correct.

"Not my shining hour." He offered apologetically.

"Not mine either." She exhaled raggedly, suddenly very, very tired.

"Let's not talk about it now." Jack suggested reaching over to squeeze her hand. "You're safe, and alive, and going home. That's all that matters."

Returning his squeeze Beth smiled at him sharing, "I'm very glad you are here with me." She waited for him to withdraw his hand, but he kept it intertwined with hers.  
_____  
As the Bristol descended past the entering Cardale sign and sailed past the central shops, Beth felt a great wave of relief washing over her….She knew she would undoubtedly have to traverse the road to Buxton hundreds of times more, but she knew she'd never do it again without remembering that awful night.  
_____  
Stepping into her house, Beth sighed relieved to be returned to familiar surroundings, "I've only been away two days, but it feels like so much longer." Leaning down she petted Conwell cooing, "Hello my beautiful boy. Did you wonder where your mum was?"

Jack closed the door watching them for a moment with obvious affection. "Shall I put on the kettle?" He offered suggesting, "I can make you some coffee or coca?"

"A mug of coca sounds heavenly," Beth agreed giving Conwell a quick pat. "I think I'd like to go up change, will you stay for supper?"

Jack nodded agreeing, "If you'd like." There was an odd formality to his words and actions as if they had stepped into a very stiff period drama and he had to force the words out over a stiff high collar.

"I would." She acknowledged deliberately meeting his eyes, crestfallen that he promptly looked away.

As if sensing her mood, he tried for a more relaxed tone suggesting, "You go up. I will see to dinner."

Beth nodded and began to climb the stairs, stopping on the middle step, as if remembering something, she called, "Oh and just so we are clear, I'm not taking my key back." Grinning she confessed jauntily, "I like having you in my house." Without further comment she continued up the steps.  
____  
Peering into Beth's fridge was always a disconcerting experience for Jack. Every third week Dr. Elizabeth Glover led the healthy body, healthy woman clinic. But at home Beth Glover ate like a teenager. Beans and toast, burgers and chips and microwave meals were the staples of her diet. There was always a bottle of red wine in her fridge, but everything else was a scattershot affair.

Tonight was particularly depressing. Aside from the expected bottle and a few take away cartons the compartment was empty. Jack made a mental note to go to the shops and bring some actual food into the house. Contemplating what he could throw together tonight, he was surprised by the sound of a knock at the kitchen door.

Jack walked over opening the door and cheerfully calling, "Isabel."

"Greetings," Isabel walked past him carrying two plastic sacks. "Is Beth home?"

"She went up to change," Jack shared closing the kitchen door. "Judging by the gurgling in the pipes she's in the shower."

"How is she?"

Jack thought for a moment before responding, "She'll need a few days resting, but aside from fatigue and some abrasions on her hand she seems only a little the worse for wear."

"Thank God," Isabel sighed relief evident in her words. Gesturing to the sacks on the table she admitted, "Whenever I worry, I cook…So I fixed up a pot of chicken soup, with French bread, and a chocolate cake."

"You are an angel from heaven." Jack proclaimed leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Sit down I'll set the table for dinner."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of staying," Isabel demurred lightly. "Beth won't want a lot of people hovering around her first night home."

"Probably right," Jack agreed before suggesting, "Say why don't I clear out and you two can have dinner and a bit of a chinwag if you fancy."

"No, no," Isabel shook her head stating, "Beth would prefer your solace to mine."

Jack frowned countering, "I'm sure she'd rather I mosey on my own way."

Isobel regarded Jack with an frown arguing, "Beth was a foolish girl the night before last. Don't be a foolish boy today."

"Not foolish, just realistic." Jack walked across the room, retrieving two bowls from the cupboard. "You were right I've been intrusive, poking me nose where it doesn't belong. Beth's been nice about it, and I know she's fond of me. But I need to be fair about things." He placed the bowls on the table continuing, "Beth's overwrought from all she went through. I shouldn't be here forcing me way in….I don't want to make Beth feel she owes me, or that she has to put up with me…"

Isobel angled her head at the suddenly silent water pipes, "Let me let you in on a little secret," She leaned closer whispering conspiratorially. "A woman doesn't go upstairs, shower, and talk about dinner with a man she is running out." She turned toward the door offering, "Tell Beth I just popped over to check in, I'll stop by in the morning….but not too early." Isabel left the room her chuckles trailing behind her.  
____  
Beth stood before her full-length mirror taking inventory of her injuries. Her cheeks were still chapped cherry red, her right hand inflamed, a mixture of reds and violet against the snowy white bandages. Two days ago she'd traveled off full of vanity and hubris and this was the consequence. Such are the costs of poor choices, she thought disgustedly. The sound of Jack's whistling wafted up from the kitchen causing her to smile. She turned from the mirror, tugging her gray dressing gown around her before heading downstairs a smile on her face as well.  
_____  
"Who were you talking to?" Beth questioned coming into the kitchen. She had heard muffled voices when she stepped from the shower.

"Isabel," Jack turned from spooning soup into the bowls proclaiming, "She made a really first class spread."

"Good," She surveyed the table admitting, "I'm surprisingly hungry."

"Chicken soup, French bread and cake for dessert." Jack turned back to the table explaining, "I asked her to stay. She said you wouldn't want her hovering."

"She's absolutely right," Beth agreed recalling, "She can be an atrocious hoverer."

'No worries on my front," He reassured her adding, "I'll be off after dinner, let you rest."

Beth looked at him quizzically before declaring, "I certainly don't want you rushing off." Stepping in front of him, Beth rested her palms on his biceps. "Truth be known, I fancy a bit of your hovering." She lifted herself on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek proposing, "Shall we eat?"  
____  
By the time they finished dinner, rain was pelting against the windows. Jack had built a fire and Beth had sat down in her easy chair near the grate content to stare into the embers. Hearing Jack's footsteps, she felt her lips twisting upwards. "You know, last night in the hospital, this is exactly what I wanted. To be here at home, with you."

Jack made no obvious reply to her words instead asking, "Should we change your dressing?"

Recognizing Jack was clearly evading her point, Beth opted to acquiesce to his diversion answering, "It's fine for the moment."

"How is the pain?"

"Painful," She quipped lightly. "Not too badly though."

Jack nodded saying, "I was about to say that's a good sign, but you know that."

"I do," She remarked noncommittedly. "But I don't really fancy talking about my sore hand."

Jack seemed to accept this glancing worryingly at the hearth, "Is the fire warm enough?"

"It's lovely," She replied watching him sit down on the sofa.

"Do you want to watch something, or read, or just have an early night?" There was a restless to his questions seemingly born of nervousness.

Beth stood up, walking over to the sofa lowering herself beside him, placing her palm on his thigh. "What would you like to do?"

"You're the sick one."

"Sore not sick." She insisted firmly before adding resignedly, "But I am tired…"

"Why don't we watch some telly?" He suggested reaching for the remote. "That usually puts you right out." The set flickered to life and Jack began flipping through the channels.

Beth rested back against the sofa; she loved the simplicity of this…just them enjoying each other's company.

Jack reached back unfolding a throw and handing it to her suggesting, "Keep ya warm."

Beth spread the blanket over both their laps. Jack had found some mindless comedy and already seemed totally engrossed in the plot. Leaning over she rested her head on his shoulder, waiting curious how he would react. She felt his initial stiffening, then moments later, she felt his arm wrap around her waist drawing her closer to his warmth. Smiling against his neck she thought this was exactly where she wanted to be.  
________  
"Beth, Beth," She heard her name and felt herself waking.

"Jack?"

"It's alright love, it's just me." He reassured gently rubbing small circles in her back. "You dozed off for a bit, I thought you might want to go up get some proper sleep."

Beth nodded admitting, "I'm surprised how tired I am."

"You've been through an ordeal; you've got to let yourself heal." He reminded her continuing his ministrations.

Beth smiled up at him sharing, "You being here with me is a comfort."

"Naw," Jack averred dubiously. "Just provided a bit of company."

"A bit more than that," Beth reiterated turning to face him. Leaning forward she touched her lips to his lightly, waiting for him to deepen the kiss. She almost moaned with relief when he opened his mouth, and she felt his hand moving to her cheek.

Far too soon, he pulled back fretting, "Does that hurt?"

In response she pulled him closer whispering, "What do you think?"

She had meant it as a bit of a tease, but he answered her seriously, "I think you are very tired and weak, this isn't the time…."

He was being frightfully logical, still Beth realized he had a point. "At least we have time." The words seemed an invocation and she felt the weight of the past days settling heavily on her….. "Oh Jack," She cried running her hand through her hair. "Lisa," She said trusting him to understand.

Jack pulled her closer offering, "The police came to the surgery this morning. They spoke to Will about the lad…." He seemed to be weighing what to say next, "They want to speak to your tomorrow, take an official statement about his actions that night."

"Well that should be pleasant," She sagged back against the chair admitting, "I wouldn't even know where to start." Beth felt herself back in the pounding rain seeing that figure bolting in front of her car. "He ran onto the road. Told me there had been an accident. Said he needed help." She related the story fragmentally as it had seemed that night. "I tried my mobile, but there was no service. I asked him to drive and get help." She looked up at Jack finishing her memories of Sean, "And he left us there." There was a frostiness to her tone seemingly borne of darker emotions than she cared to address. "He stole the car, and he stole her life." She nuzzled her head against Jack's neck, "I could have saved her."

"If you hadn't been there, she would have died hours earlier, alone, hanging upside down in a dark car," Jack reminded her lightly rubbing her shoulder. "You did your best."

"I want to believe that so desperately…" She sagged against him, feeling all the energy drain out of her body.

"You need some rest," He advised gently helping her to her feet.

As they stood facing one another Beth reached for his hand asking, "Will you come up?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

In spite of the situation, Beth chuckled remembering, "That's the second time you've said that to me in this room." She placed her palm on his cheek, "You do what feels right to you." Leaning forward she softly kissed his other check. Then she smiled, not wanting to press him further, before turning and walking slowly up the steps.  
_______  
After Beth went upstairs, Jack followed the routines he had adopted when they were a couple. He checked the locks, made sure the dog had water and food, turned off the lights. One of the reasons he'd been so baffled by her no to his proposal was that he realized they were cozier than most long marrieds. They already had routines. They got on so well together. However, where he found contentment, Beth had found only questions. The idea of marrying her which had felt so right to him, terrified Beth. Why she felt so differently still confounded him.

Still now wasn't the time to worry about any of that, Beth clearly needed his support, and Jack was determined to offer it in whatever way she needed. Still, going upstairs felt risky. Uncertain what to do he found himself standing alone in Beth's dark kitchen unsure where to go or what to do next.  
___________  
"LISA!" Beth sat bolt upright screaming. "LISA!" Even as her heart raced and her lungs strained for air, she began to dimly recognize she was in her bedroom not out on a raw night.

She turned as the door was flung open and Jack rushed in calling, "Beth!"

Clutching the sheet in her hands Beth fought to slow her breathing. "I thought, I thought… I was back in the cold, and Lisa was…" The words fell away, and she felt herself panting, struggling to breath.

Jack propped himself the edge of the mattress, placing a reassuring hand on her back.

"Hold me Jack, please hold me," She beseeched, clumsily reaching for him.

Pulling her into his embrace Jack muttered softly into her hair, "Ssh love, it's alright. I'm here."

Long, silent moments passed while Beth sobbed into Jack's shoulder. He rubbed circles in her back letting her release the emotions that had been lockedwithin her for the last 24 hours. After a few minutes she was able to loosen her iron grip on him, bemoaning, "Oh Jack she was so young."

Jack shifted slightly causing Beth to retighten her grip, desperate to keep him with her. Sensing her concern Jack promised, "I'm not going anywhere. Just trying to find a more comfortable position."

Beth scooted over a few inches, allowing Jack space to do the same. She sagged back against his chest sharing, "I keep thinking she was just a girl with her whole life ahead of her. One stupid mistake." She shook her head declaring, "So unfair."

"You stopped to help at a road accident, ended up with exposure, dehydration and near hypothermia." Jack observed concluding, "Fairness didn't seem on the menu."

Beth rested her head on his shoulder. "I could have saved her…if only…" She raised her head asking, "Her funeral is the day after next. Will you go with me?"

"Of course." He assented concernedly as he countered, "Do you think you will be strong enough?"

"No," She admitted feeling her heart finally slowing. "But how can I not go?" He shrugged acknowledging her point. Ghosting her fingers lightly over his arm she questioned, "Where were you?"

"Couch," He stated continuing to lightly rub her arms

She cuddled against him saying, "I need you with me." Fearing he might misunderstand she amended her statement explaining, "Not for sex or because I just need someone, I need you."

"You?" He mock chided in the most dubious of tones. "You can handle most anything on your own."

Beth contemplated his words before admitting, "Well that is what I've always done…but now I don't want to, not anymore." She raised her free arm cupping the side of his face. "And I don't want you to be alone anymore."

"Let's not talk about this anymore tonight," Jack insisted taking her good hand and kissing the soft skin inside her palm. "You need your rest."

"Stay with me Jack…"

Jack made no vocal reply, instead he relaxed against the headboard, keeping her in his embrace. Beth sighed in relief even as she felt her breathing even out and sleep overtaking her. Watching her Jack sighed grateful she had relaxed enough for sleep, whereas his mind seemed to churn with questions and confusion.  
_______


	3. Aftermath III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Beth's Chance Encounter with Lisa and hypothermia, Beth and Jack have to determine where their relationship goes next. 3/5

Beth's eyes popped open to a frozen landscape and a partially frosted window. The horizon lay slate gray with ominous clouds spreading out across the whole of the sky. Always before she had relished seeing what weather awaited her outside that window. This morning, she only wished she had drawn the curtains, even tucked up in a cozy house under a warm duvet, Beth could not stop an instinctive shiver that the weather conditions seemed to provoke.

From the conditions and the state of the window, it required no cleverness to recognize snow was likely. And Beth wasn't sure she'd ever again greet that forecast without a thought to how those conditions would feel out in the empty landscape of the Buxton Road. And in spite, of the warmth of the house and the thickness of the duvet, Beth could almost believe that she felt a cold finger stretching out trying to drag her mentally back to the barren wasteland. Time would dull the images, she hoped, but for the present, it was a fresh, raw wound, and she drew the duvet closer trying to push the sensations away.

Without conscious thought Beth slid over toward Jack's side of the bed. He was always as warm as toast, and she needed his physical heat as well as the succor of his she found hisside of the mattress empty; the sheets cool enough to betray that he hadn't been in bed for some time.

Rolling onto her back, Beth sighed scrubbing her hands over her face. In the hospital it had all seemed so simple, Jack would come, and the words would come, and they would be together. Reality never proved as simple as her imaginings, she thought unhappily. She was going to have to confront Jack, fight for what she wanted, needed. Decided she sat up reaching for her dressing gown and swung her legs toward the floor preparing for battle.  
___________  
Jack was staring at the ceiling when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He had heard Beth moving around upstairs for some time and had been preparing himself for her appearance, donning the armor of humor and unconcern even as he felt bad tempered and very, very concerned.

"Not a terribly comfortable position." Beth observed tartly from the bottom step.

"It was easier the other night, alcohol," Jack admitted stretching his arms over his head. "I stayed down here in case you needed anything." He raised his hand as if forestalling possible objections, "I know you can take care of yourself. I wasn't…" Sitting up Jack slid his legs off the sofa and sat up running his hand through his disheveled hair. "I just wanted to be here if you needed anything."

"Thank you," Beth smiled at him acknowledging, "I know I can count on you… But," She added glancing at him with a troubled expression. "Darling you look exhausted," Beth observed sitting down and reaching to brush a stray strand of hair from his face. "Perhaps I should be the one questioning if you need anything."

Jack reached up seizing her hand and holding it against her cheek, "I'm fine, how are you?"

"I had 24 hours in hospital, and I just slept another 9 hours. I feel fine."

"Fine," Jack mocked shaking his head, "You're bloody lucky you know that. Mild exposure…it could have been much, much worse." His voiced faded as the reality of the fear seemingly sapped his strength. He dropped the hand holding hers to his lap and sank back against the sofa.

"Hey," Beth called softly wanting to allay his fears. "I'm here, and we're together."

Jack rested his head back against the cushion emitting a dry chuckle that suggested little humor. "Are we?"

"I suppose you have to tell me that." Beth glanced over at him trying to discern what Jack might be feeling or thinking. His expression was unreadable, likely determinedly so, she imagined. "Have you thought about my proposal?"

"Could hardly think of anything else," He conceded suddenly fixing all his attentions on the rug.

"We should talk about it."

"I think that goes into the category of things we should wait on, rest and hydrate and see how you feel." He smiled uneasily attempting to play the question off.

"I'm not going to wait on anything," Beth maintained firmly. "If I gain nothing else from that awful experience, know that I am never going to wait for what I want ever again." There was a strength in her words and in her declaration that propelled Beth forward challenging him. "You asked me to marry you. Said you loved me. Do you still?" She concluded asking fearfully, "Or has my indecision ruined everything?"

Jack looked at her for a long moment confiding, "Loving you isn't the problem." There was a kind of resignation to his admission.

"Do you doubt my sincerity or my commitment?" Wanting to reassure him she declared, "I take marriage very seriously. To me it's a lifetime commitment."

"I guess that's it," Jack admitted fixing his gaze downward at their joined hands. "I know you well enough to know that once you make that commitment you will try to stick it out. I don't want a marry in haste repent in leisure situation."

"The only thing I regret is that I've wasted several months of our time together." She drew a ragged breath, "My error. I won't repeat it…"

He squeezed her hand cautioning, "You have just come through a shattering situation, you should take a breath before you decide anything."

Beth countered his words arguing, "I spent a night in the rough. A morning in the snow. I had a day on my own in the hospital. Last night and now this morning…. I only feel more and more sure that I want to be your wife." A sudden memory rose up causing her to smile, "As for it being sudden. I asked my Dad once how he knew he wanted to marry my Mum," Beth glanced over at Jack reassured he was listening, "He said when you know, you just know." She squeezed his hand sharing, "And when I woke up that morning and you were holding me, I knew…." She reached out cupping his cheek with her free hand. "I never wanted you to let go, and I never wanted to ever let go of you."

Jack remained silent for a moment, even as a series of expressions crossed his face. At length, he managed almost brokenly, "I want to believe you…." He seemed to be waging against some internal emotions, finally he shook his head and glanced down at his watch cautioning, "We can't really get into this now…I've got surgery at ten. I better take a quick shower." He said already moving toward the stairs.

"Jack wait," Beth cried fruitlessly since he was already halfway up the stairs.  
___________  
Closing the door behind him, Jack slumped back against the bathroom wall needing the support. Beth's bathroom always smelled of lavender and whatever variation of bath scent she was favoring at the given moment. Admittedly, the scent provided the source of an ongoing joke between the pair of them. Beth liked nothing better than soaking up to her chin in bubbles, and he loved nothing better than the smell of her after such a soak. But he had drawn a firm line at joining in on bubble baths. And Beth never stopped threatening to drag him into the tub. An easy ongoing joke.

Now nothing felt easy or for that matter ongoing. The euphoria he yearned to feel at Beth's proposal settled into a cold dread when he remembered her resolution in turning down his initial proposal. Her protestations of change could easily be merely manifestations of elevated emotions resulting from a frightful experience.

Reaching behind the shower curtain he twisted the facet letting the water run. Beth's shower took an age to get lukewarm. Opening the door he crossed back into her bedroom, opening a drawer. He had gotten in the habit of leaving a few spare changes of clothes at Beth's. He supposed he should be surprised she hadn't thrown them out, but he wasn't and maybe that surprised him most of all.  
__________  
Beth kept surreptitiously glancing at the kitchen door. The water in the pipes had stopped gurgling twenty minutes or so ago. Jack was far from a dawdler. Typically, within ten or so minutes of stepping from the shower Jack was downstairs. He was clearly stalling which was worrisome. If Jack had lambasted her for dining with an ex and lying about it, that she might have expected. His Gordie temper was as bad as hers. A furious Jack did not really worry her. A silent uneasy Jack was not a shade she was familiar with….

"Smells good." His voice sliced into the silence almost causing Beth to jump in surprise.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she had missed his actual appearance. Still Beth felt her lips turning up at the sight of him. Jack was wearing one of his more rumpled plaid shirts. One she teased him about, but that was utterly Jack. God how was it that she had seen him every day at the surgery, and yet felt starved for the sight of him?

Recognizing her gaze Jack shrugged amiably noting, "I know what you think about this shirt, but it was here and clean so…."

Beth smiled admitting, "I was just thinking how very you that shirt is."

"Not sure that's a compliment."

Beth recognized that Jack the lad had reappeared in her kitchen. He tended to appear whenever Jack didn't especially want to address the seriousness of the situation. If solitude was her refuge, humor was Jack's.

"It was," She reassured him offering, "I made toast and coffee." Beth walked over to the pot, pouring him a cup. "Would you like some eggs?"

"You are trying to butter me up," He retorted taking a seat at the table, "Coffee and toast are plenty."

Beth sat back watching Jack putter about spreading jam on his toast, stirring milk into his coffee, watched him munch distractedly on his toast. These were some of the moments she loved best. Just the two of them alone going about their normal routines. All that nattering about not wanting marriage because that meant her life would be over, and now she realized that she could spend fifty years eating breakfast with Jack Kerruish, and it would not be nearly long enough.

Deciding not to prolong the inevitable Beth sat her mug aside offering, "I want to apologize about lying regarding meeting Michael."

Jack seemed suddenly fixated on the contents of his coffee cup. "You've no need to apologize to me. You have every right to eat with whoever you want."

"I want to explain why I did what I did…" Beth explained adding, "I'm not trying to excuse myself, lying was wrong."

"I have to be in surgery in forty-five minutes or so," He reminded her adding, "It's not really my business." He protested munching on his toast with small tense bites.

Realizing Jack was determined to make this as difficult to ease into the conversation, Beth plowed on admitting, "The past is a seductive place."

Jack looked up insisting emphatically, "I don't need to know anything about that. Anything…"

Beth found his anger reassuring. If Jack had gone on with his milquetoast, none of my business routine, she would have been terrified that he no longer cared. Instead, it was clear he did care. That was a balm of sorts, "I met Michael when I was in my last year of residency. He was my boss."

"I know all this."

"Not really." She demurred firmly insisting, "You know what I told you, but of course I edited things." She reached for her cup continuing, "He was older, more experienced…Now I know that I was probably not his first or last resident. What I thought was experience was probably seduction, manipulation." Jack remained determinedly silent. "I'm not excusing myself. I knew he was married. But I was young and fancied him and justified things…." Seeing Jack's jaw visibly tighten she hurried on. "Eventually his wife found out, and he had to make a choice. And he chose to fire me, and that was the end of things." She blinked trying to limit the tug of emotion that time still brought. "My dad needed me, so I came to Cardale, settled into the community, then a few years later you came along."

"And all that time you wanted Michael."

Beth shook her head arguing, "I may have fabricated what was between us, may have pretended Michael was other than he was…but I was not sitting around waiting for him to phone me."

"When he did, you trotted along fast enough….." He looked away clearly trying to tamp down his anger. Finally, he sighed admitting, "Look we aren't….I don't know what we are… But you don't need to explain having curiosity about an old love or wanting to reexplore that curiosity."

"I did not want to reexplore anything," Beth retorted hotly. "I had a meal and coffee and left."

"No one goes to a country hotel just planning to have a meal and coffee."

Beth rolled her eyes reiterating, "I had no intentions beyond that. And if the accident had not happened, you would never have even known." She wanted to bite back the phrase, the second it slipped out of her throat, realizing instantly how it sounded.

Jack's face flushed and his eyes were flashing as he retorted, "And you wouldn't have been talking marriage either. You'd be pushing me out, probably angry I was at your house."

"Which is totally irrelevant," Beth responded emphasizing, "What happened, happened, and everything is different." This seemed so obvious and definite to her that it seemed incredible he could not understand.

"How?" He questioned massaging his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

"I know what I want, and that's you and us… " She spoke emphatically wanting to make her point clear, "I just need us."

"Why?" Jack challenged pushing his plate aside. "Because you are scared you might go back to Michael or that nothing better will come along."

"Because nothing better than you and me could ever come along. And I see that clearly now."

Jack steepled his fingers staring at them with great introspection "I just don't see what's changed."

"That whole night in the damp and cold…I kept thinking about you, about us."

"And before that you had no interest."

Beth frowned insisting tetchily, "I certainly don't agree with that characterization."

"Really?" Jack countered despairingly. "What about when Martin Keel hit you, you didn't want me what were your words…in the way."

"I wanted you…. You were the one who ran away."

"You didn't know what you wanted as I told you at the time." He pointed out triumphantly. "But let's move forward… A few weeks later when I had to go to London for Karen remember you told me you hoped she was worth it. You were fine with me pursuing someone else as long as it didn't interfere with the practice."

"I was in no way fine with it." Beth argued crossing her arms defiantly.

Jack frowned remembering, "You said and I quote I hope she's worth it. It was all a big joke to you." He practically spat the words.

"I was trying to put the best face on," Beth answered defensively, "I'd rejected you and you didn't seem to want to tell me about it."

"And you couldn't have cared less." Jack countered flatly. "You didn't mind at all…"

"Didn't mind?" Beth exclaimed incredulously. "I was sickly jealous." She sat back in her chair confessing almost frantically, "Oh at first it was easy to pass off as just you going after some random woman." She granted continuing, "But then when I realized… My God why do you think I invited her to stay with me."

Jack seemingly taken aback by the challenge, paused apparently considering what might have motivated Beth's offer. Finally, he shrugged guessing, "Because you wanted to help."

Beth laughed mirthlessly admitting, "I wanted to involve myself, I wanted to comfort you."

"We're friends," He agreed thinking he was following her line of thought.

"I was not having friendly thoughts… That poor woman, I felt bad for her how could I not…but I also felt jealous and all the sudden all my big talk about us being just friends was a lot of tosh."

"You never said…" Jack sputtered confoundedly.

Beth looked at him reminding him, "I told you I was sorry you had to sleep on the couch."

"Yes, there were only two rooms."

Beth sighed marveling how badly they'd misread one another, "I wanted you in my bed, I wanted to be the one comforting you." The admission did not come easily, and Beth struggled with the guilt admitting, "That poor woman was falling to bits and all I could think was you belonged with me. When you told me what you felt about Karen now….." She did not repeat his words unwilling to lance a painful abscess in his conscious, "All I could think is good, he's mine."

"Well you didn't bloody say anything," Jack pointed out angrily, "And you went off to have dinner with Michael."

Beth sighed and for a long time she remained silent. "I wish I had an explanation for why I went. I spent most of yesterday and all of the night before analyzing my motives." She paused trying to calm her thoughts, seeking to convey a clarity she was only beginning to recognize herself. "I hadn't spoken to him in seven years." She sipped her coffee wanting to emphasize that point. "I wish my reasons were clear cut, but it was mixed of course it was…. Curiosity why was he calling me. Vengeance wanting him to see how unaffected I was, victory a chance to show him what he missed out on…. All very juvenile." She shook her head recriminating herself for her choices. "By the time we had our coffee I should have left." She leaned back in the chair saying, "I knew by then I was over him, that he held no allure for me… Still I let things…"

Jack looked up a sudden tension obvious in his features, "Did it go farther?"

"No….absolutely not," She said flatly wanting to leave no room for doubt on his part. "He wanted it to, I didn't, it felt wrong."

Jack ran his finger around the top of his mug, "Guilt?"

"Relief actually." Beth confessed grateful she could convey honestly this realization. "Whatever hold he'd had on me was over. That was such a relief. I left that inn smiling. I knew I was free. There wasn't an ounce of regret."

"And then you got stopped…"

"And then I got stopped." She agreed feeling the weight of that night settling over her, "Whatever you may think about my reasons for going, I was coming back freed of doubt or regret…."

The silence became almost oppressive as they faced each other for several silent moments.

Jack took a long gulp of coffee, then returned the mug to the table offering, "I'm glad of that for you." He reassured her, sincerity evident in his tone. "But that doesn't change matters, I wanted you to marry me, and you didn't want that."

"I didn't know what I wanted."

"And after a filthy night in the rough you do." He shook his head challenging her notion of certainty, "Beth that's a recipe for disaster."

Beth reached for his hand taking it within her own. "Do you think I would risk your feelings, risk hurting you if I wasn't absolutely certain this was what I want?" Without giving him time to answer she plowed on, "I spent yesterday in a hospital and all I kept thinking about was coming home to you, us being together, the rest of our lives together.."

"I want to believe you." Jack admitted looking out the window. "But I keep thinking a few months down the road you are going to wake up and feel like you settled."

"For you?" The notion was so confounding she wasn't sure how to respond to it. "Jack my fears were never about you, they were about me."

"And now they've vanished."

"No of course I'm afraid, anyone who commits their life to another person would be. But I'm also decided." Keeping his hand within her own Beth said imploringly, "I….. just….. want…. you."

Jack glanced away exhaling, "I….I need to think." Addressing her earlier concern Jack admitted, "I do…I love you….that was never the issue."

Beth squeezed his hand vowing, "I'm not giving up. I want us."

"I want that too…" He admitted even as the buzzing of his phone sounded.

Beth frowned groaning, "Oh no…"

Lifting the phone from the table, Jack unfolded it barking, "Dr. Kerruish." He listened silently, grimacing. "Yes, yes when do I need to be there…" He turned his wrist to check his wristwatch. "Yes, I can be there. Sure. Goodbye."

Beth glanced up fretting, "Where are you going?"

"Two lads caught up on the peaks." Jack answered matter of factly. Standing up he spoke with false bravado, "Alpine time, I suppose."

Any other time she might have found the joke amusing, now though Beth could only plead, "Do you have to go?"

"Of course, I have to go," Jack answered plainly, "That's why I am on the team."

"Good grief," Beth swore angrily. "It's been snowing, its freezing."

"Generally, the times people need rescue."

Beth hardly heard him the rawness of that remembered night causing her to warn him, "You could fall, slip, break a leg or your neck."

Jack frowned saying dubiously, "Well that's not likely, I'm pretty fit."

Beth turned scoffing. "Jack please," She arched a brow observing, "Sometimes it takes you two tries to get off the sofa."

He pulled back, aggrieved at the perceived slight, hissing, "I told you I was tired that day."

"I don't want something to happen to you!" She reiterated loudly, angry that he would go off on some winter trek days after she'd lain exposed to the elements.

Jack released her hand, standing and walking to kneel in front of her. "I'll be careful." He promised her vowing, "And I'll call you as soon as I get back."

She reached out resting her palm on his cheek, "Be very careful." Leaning down she kissed him softly.

"When I get back we'll talk." He promised as he rose to his feet. Leaning over the table grabbing a slice of toast he muttered apparently to himself, "I gotta run by the cottage and grab my pack." His mind was already focused on the task ahead categorizing his immediate plans.

Beth watched him walk to the door, when he opened it she rose calling, "Jack."

"I'll see you soon," He promised walking out and closing the door behind him.

Beth crossed to the door watching him climb in his car, watching the car's progress until it was out of sight. Staring at the barren landscape, Beth hugged her dressing gown closer to her, needing the warmth, almost feeling an ice-cold finger scratching her trying to drag her back out onto the wasteland.


	4. Aftermath IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Beth's Chance Encounter with Lisa and hypothermia, Beth and Jack have to determine where their relationship goes next.

Jack made the twelve-minute drive from Beth's to the cottage on autopilot. The frosted landscape, he saw beyond his windshield, bore out Beth's fears. It was going to be a sodden, wet, day. Typically, that wouldn't bother him. He'd pull morning surgery, then spend a quiet afternoon at home listening to Radio Four or watching sport.

Instead, he was about to go for a hike in the rain, undoubtedly, to rescue some kids who had not a single clue they needed rescuing. Even though it might be for the best, he badly needed time to consider Beth's words and her proposal, still he worried about the disruption and it's affect on Beth's recovery.

Beth was the strongest person he knew, still she was recovering from an ordeal, and if his presence helped her find her equilibrium then he was determined to be as present as she needed. Isabel had told him once that Beth was worthy of protecting, and no matter what their romantic status he knew that would always be his number one priority.

Not to mention, it also meant with the pair of them out of commission, Will was on his own for morning surgery. Lifting his mobile off the passenger seat Jack pressed a preset number.

After a moment Kim's breathless voice answered requesting, "Beeches how can we assist you?"

"Provide me a generous dose of the narcotic drugs of my choice," Jack replied cheekily.

"Jack!" Kim said delightedly. "We were just wondering where you were. How's Beth?"

"Beth is fine." He reassured her asking, "Is Will about?"

Kim sighed retorting, "Is he ever?"

Jack smiled requesting, "Can I speak to him?"

"Good luck," She advised transferring the call.

A moment passed before Jack heard a familiar voice intoning, "Dr. Preston."

"Will it's Jack." Figuring Kim's words were a clue he asked, "Having issues this morning?"

"I am not but," He paused dramatically before stating,"I have just informed Kim that if she even utters the word smear to me one more time before lunch, then Saturday morning surgery will be cancelled." Will said by way of explanation.

Jack chuckled enjoying his colleague's typical cross morning always sounded like a bemused Etonian who had thrown back a few whisky and sodas and was pleasantly buzzed but not intoxicated. And he tended to begin each morning by provoking Kim and Annie to near mutinous conditions. "Planning to go AWOL?"

"Well," He mused thoughtfully. "That would get me to the golf course a few hours early, but in these conditions, I might just drive to a decent town and spend a civilized afternoon." Will seemed to be warming to his alternative morning plans.

"Fraid that's not in the cards," Jack advised him explaining, "I've just been called by mountain rescue. Two kids are unaccounted for."

"And so you get a morning in the peaks. Beth gets a morning in bed. And I am left alone to man the battleship Beeches." Will drawled out the words before assenting, "Well I'm a good sailor. No worries," He reassured in a decidedly unhappy tone offering, "The book didn't look to full, and Annie is here so I expect we can muddle along without the pair of you."

"Careful now," Jack teased laughing good naturedly. "You'll make us feel unwanted."

"Trust me you are very wanted." Will answered flatly. "Both of you can cover my smears for the next few weeks." As the call ended Jack could hear Will's dry bemused chuckling.  
____________  
Standing at the trail head, a half hour later, Jack bounced restlessly from one foot to the other. It was that endless time before the trail leader started the hike and his restless energy was left unfocused. Absent motion and purpose, it was simply standing around on a cold drizzly day.

He smiled when he saw Irene heading in his direction. Irene had moved to the Peaks a decade before. She was an experienced climber, and rescue team member. She'd been assigned to hike with Jack his first few operations, but she seemed to view herself as a permanent mentor, always finding him before any hike to ensure that he was properly prepared.

Sliding his pack off his shoulder, Jack dropped the bag on the ground. He unzipped it waiting expectantly for Irene's pre-hike inventory. "Extra bottles of water, dried fruit, trail mix, assorted bandages, glucose tablets, a few vials and injections. Two changes of socks in a sealed bag."

Irene smiled noting abashedly, "I suppose you think I'm a nosy parker."

"Naw," He granted good naturedly. "Just looking out for me."

Feeling her protective role satisfied Irene queried, "How is Dr. Glover faring?"

"Well, I think… " Jack answered explaining, "She suffered mild hypothermia herself, but she is hydrated and hopefully resting at home."

"She alright on her own?"

Jack chuckled ruefully, "Of course."

"Sorry to have to call you out on such a miserable day."

Jack thought on that for only a moment before admitting, "Glad for some time actually…" He looked off at the peaks sharing, "I have some things rolling around my head." He added by way of an explanation, "Want to clear some cobwebs."

Irene nodded observing, "Nothing better than a long hike on a frosty day." Jack nodded in agreement as they turned hearing the group leader calling for their attention.  
____________  
"We have two lads who left home at sunrise wanted to show their independence." The trail leader announced frowning disapprovingly. "One is a diabetic dinna take his medicine this morning. Time is the essence."

Irene standing next to Jack sighed admitting, "Hate missing kids."

Jack thought there might be more to her comment than she mentioned, making a mental note to ask Beth about it later. Unzipping his pack Jack requested, "Irene can you get me the boys' names?" He had only just located his mobile and was digging it out, when Irene returned with the names. Jack unfolded the phone and taped the preset two, he then silently waited for a familiar cheery greeting before saying, "Kim-I'm up with mountain rescue, we've got two missing boys can you call around get some records for us." He listened to her response saying, "Thanks love the names are…"  
____________  
The crackling of the fire and her habit of rhythmically stroking Conwell, left Beth in a near hypnotic state. Images of the sodden night on the Buxton Road intermingling with memories of the next snowy morning. Worse still were intrusive visions of Jack tripping and falling, injuring his head, crimson blood saturating the white snow. She wasn't certain which was worse the horror she had experienced or the nightmarish situations she could envision.

A sudden series of sharp knocks at the front door caused Beth to sit bolt upright. She wasn't sure whether to feel upset or grateful for the intrusion. Stepping over Conwell, Beth adjusted her dressing gown, tugging it closer to her body, as she hurried towards the hall. Opening the door, she felt the wind gusting leaving her powerless against the shiver that traversed her body.

"I didn't expect you to be out of bed." Isabel said by way of greeting.

Beth frowned asking, "Did you think Conwell would open the door then?"

"Is Jack still asleep?"

Beth rolled her eyes charging, "You are a nosy old trout." She waited for Isobel to refute the charge, instead Isabel merely shrugged as if acquiescing. Beth sighed admitting, "No he's out in this miserable weather looking for two hikers stuck up in the hills."

Isabel turned surveying the landscape observing, "Nice day for it." She smiled at Beth, suggesting, "That means we have time for a nice long chat." Swooshing past Beth, she walked down the hall toward the kitchen.

Beth closed the door muttering, "Come in, won't you?"  
____________  
Pacing was a big part of hiking, and a part Jack had never particularly relished. In school he'd been a natural sprinter. He loved going all out giving absolutely everything to cross the finish line, categorizing unfettered exertion as part and parcel of any exercise. Hiking though required stamina. The first few climbs he'd had to drag himself back down the trail, having wasted all his energy on the ascent, ignoring the descent could actually be trickier. Irene had loaned him a biography of George Mallory. The lesson if not subtle was promptly learned, any fool might climb up a hill, a smart climber recognized he also had to get down the bloody thing.

Jack recognized too that he had deficits as a climber. He lacked the natural power and precision of the Mallorys and Irene's of the world. So he had become comfortable lagging behind, reserving his energy for the rescue and descent. Any number of the team could locate the boys, he had to ensure he had the stamina to treat them and sustain that treatment on the trip down.

Today he was especially grateful to be largely left on his own. He needed physical space free of conversation or expectation to mentally untangle all the happenings of the past few months. He'd come to Cardale having nursed a fantasy of being a country GP. Meeting and falling for Beth had confounded and ultimately bested every fantasy he ever had. Early on he had recognized she was a formidable, smashing woman. Eventually, he'd realized she was the only woman for him. He'd fallen in love many times before, even married, yet almost from the first he'd known Elizabeth Glover was different.

All these weeks apart he'd been miserable. Going to work every day seeing her, wanting her, and knowing it was all finished. Even after he'd stopped being a prat it had been painful. Loving Beth had opened him up in ways he'd never experienced, and her rejection left him raw, confused, and terribly lonely.

After Karen they'd started spending more time together. He'd hoped for more, but not truly expected it. Beth was trying to help, and he was so needy he'd let it go on. Even drunkenly gone to her place intending to vow his love. The following morning when he'd heard that message…going up to her bedroom like a loser. Literally wallowing physically in what he'd never have again.

When he and Will had discovered her car in that car park, he'd accepted it was over. He had never even considered obvious signs, such as her leaving her mobile on the dash, didn't fit Beth's personality at all. Then that planned rescue search, out the Buxton Road he'd plunged in needing something to distract him. He was convinced Beth was tucked up in some posh inn with some prat of an ex-lover. He'd nearly had to trip over her bag before he even thought to link Beth with a road accident.

The sight of her covered with snow apparently unconscious…his blood had run cold. He'd thought he had lost her. And fantasy of fantasies for her to revive and propose to him. The transitions were so rapid and unpredictable as to be nausea inducing.

Yesterday he had all but convinced himself Beth's proposal had been situational, not unlike a bad hangover she'd regret once she regained her faculties. Instead this morning she had asked him if he'd considered it, and then talked about wanting to come home to him. As if that wasn't all he'd wanted for months and months.

Still Beth pivoted between obstinateness and indecisiveness on her best days. The idea that she might want him today, and regret it tomorrow was not beyond the realm of possibility. And that scared the hell out of him.

"Jack, Jack," A voice beckoned impatiently.

Shading his eyes with his hand, Jack saw Irene standing a good distance away. He hastened his stride bellowing with mock indignation, "On my way boss lady, on my way."  
____________  
Isobel looked over her tea, out Beth's breakfast room window, "It's always so hard to imagine Jack as the mountain climbing sort."

"Better not let him hear you say that," Beth advised resting back against the chair. "He thinks he's Cardale's version of Chris Bonington. "

"He seems the football and pub stock."

Beth hugged her arms to her chest admitting, "I know it's because of what I've been through, but I hate the idea of him out there in all this…"

"Jack's not foolish," Isabel observed stirring her tea. "And Irene and the rest will be with them."

Beth nodded admitting, "Truth be known, I'm petrified not so much about the rescue as Jack having time to mull things over."

"Michael things?" Isabel speculated knowingly.

"That too…" Beth said explaining, "I asked Jack to marry me."

Isobel blinked confusedly inquiring, "I thought he asked you."

"He did." Beth confirmed taking a sip of her coffee, "And the morning he found me, I asked him."

Isobel lifted her cup predicting, "From your tone I take it his response was similar to yours."

"A bit nicer. Nice reassuring pat on the shoulder, and then a lot of I need to rest and recover." Beth recalled disappointedly. "I don't know what I expected really."

"So you regret asking him?"

Beth turned looking at her friend incredulously, "Of course not. I want to marry him." Seeing Isabel's nonplused reaction. "Do you have some objection."

Isabel shook her head, "The opposite. I've been on the bandwagon from day one."

"I remember," Beth said frowning at the memory. "It was very annoying."

"I just don't understand if you felt this way, why did you go meet that dreadful man."

"I went to have a meal." Beth replied defensively.

"At a country inn restaurant." Isabel scoffed shaking her head.

"People eat there." Beth stated determinedly.

"To attain energy for after dinner activities." Isabel declared matter of factly.

"Alright," Beth conceded tiredly. "It was a dreadful idea."

Isabel nodded agreeing, "It really was."

"The only redeeming part was that I realized how childish my infatuation with Michael was."

"That it took you seven years, and a meal does make me despair of you." Isobel noted taking a sip of her coffee. "So," She asked in the nature of a challenge, "What happens next?"

"I have no idea, really." Beth admitted reaching for her mug.

"Do you believe Jack is going to waltz back and book the parish hall?"

"Of course not." Last night had certainly cemented that Jack had reservations about her feelings. He was as skittish as colt, Beth recognized that. "I'm afraid all my fears and paranoias are going to be revisited except now it'll be Jack giving voice to them."

Isabel shook her head disputing, "Jack is far too common sense to marinate in that type of nonsense." She sipped her coffee then paused considering the issue. "Still you know this might not be easy." She observed adding, "Marriage certainly is never easy."

"What exactly are you asking me?"

A long moment passed, Beth was never certain if Isabel took those moments to gather her thoughts or if she was pausing only for effect. She tended to think it was the latter, Isabel was always in search of a stage wanting to enact the drama of her life.

"Marriage is a long business," Isabel spoke cautiously, parsing her words, weighting each one heavily. "As the old saying goes it shouldn't be entered into inadvisably, now personally I thought your reasons for not accepting Jack's proposal were a lot of tosh." Beth began to protest, but Isabel forestalled her comments by shaking you head. "But the point is you voiced them." She regarded Beth with a countenance born equally of curiosity and concern. "Have you really resolved those concerns or is this just an emotional jolt that in time you might regret."

Beth took a sip of her coffee, opting for her own pregnant pause. Returning her cup to the table she declared emphatically, "I want Jack. No one else. I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

Isabel reached for her mug congratulating, "Say it like that and he might believe you."  
____________  
Bidding Isabel goodbye, Beth closed the front door, turning and sagging back against the wood for support. All her energy seemed drained away…. Pressing her palm against her forehead, she realized Jack and Isabel were right, she was badly in need of rest. Badly as she wanted to rush back into work and routines, fill every moment to blot out that night she was in no shape to do so. Best to go back to bed, marshal her energy for whatever was to come.

Turning toward the stairs her eye caught sight of the light blue jumper Jack had worn the previous day tossed haphazardly atop the back of the sofa. Walking to the sofa she lifted the garment. Drawing it up to her nose she inhaled the faint lingering scent of his aftershave. Draping it over her arm Beth turned, toting the sweater upstairs.  
______________  
"I thought you might want summit hot." Irene suggested handing Jack a thermos cup of tea. The missing hikers had been located none the worse for wear. A few fruit pasties and a glucose tablet had leveled off the lad's blood sugar. Both boys were wrapped in warm blankets sipping hot soup from the trail leader's thermos.

"An angel of mercy," Jack crowed smiling happily. "Goood."

"Have you figured your problem out," Irene asked curiously.

Jack took a sip considering her question. "Oh I knew the answer, I just wanted to be sure."

"And are you sure."

Jack smiled contentedly, "Eh I am. Hope she is as well…."  
____________  
Beth flopped down on the bed drawing the duvet up around her, sighing in contentment. In moments she had drifted off to a dreamless sleep.  
____________  
half hour later pounding down the trail, feeling the cold snow soaking through his jacket, and his lungs aching Jack felt hope stirring somewhere deep inside of him in a way he hadn't expected and that he increasingly had no desire to quell. He loved Beth. He could make her happy. The woman he wanted most in the world wanted to marry him aye he was sure he wanted that.  
____________  
When he reached the bottom of the trail, Jack dug through his pack, removing his mobile. He dialed Beth's number, after a few rings her machine picked up. At the prompt he cheerfully replied, "Beth it's Jack, I'm back, perfectly fine, but also perfectly knackered. I'm going to go to the cottage and sleep for a bit, I'll call when I wake up. Rest easy love." He punched the off button and walked jauntily toward his car an enormous smile spreading across his face.  
____________  
"Jack?" Beth called hopefully coming down the stairs. Much to her surprise she had slept deeply for several hours.

Waking, she half expected to hear the telly blaring and find Jack engrossed in sport. The house was instead entirely silent. "Jack?" She called hopefully, but again only silence. She shook her head; the house was quiet, and she was learning to hate her silent house.

She had dated men in school and at university, then she and Michael had been together. But she had never properly lived with a man. She had always been incredibly independent and prized her solitude. Michael was the perfect man for that sort of arrangement. He had a wife, and Beth had somehow convinced herself that suited her independent lifestyle. What had she told Isobel, that she didn't have to hang off her husband's arm. She still felt that way….

But almost from the first, Beth had realized that Jack was different. Owing to their partnership and their personal relationship Jack was either in the same room or a door or so away for huge chunks of her day. And much to her shock, she rather liked that proximity. Liked the way she could wander down the hall and hear his laugh, walk into the breakroom, and see him waggle his eyebrow and intone, "Hello Dr. Glover."

Even at home she liked stepping from the bath and hearing him arguing with the referee while he watched the football. At night she had grown accustomed to hearing his drowsy, 'Sleep well,' before drifting off. Ever since she had rejected Jack's proposal the house was a tomb.

Seeing her machine flashing she walked over and pressed the messages button. Michael's voice sounded and she pushed delete wishing she could just as easily delete the entire experience. Then Jack's message… Just the sound of his cheeky Geordie tone reassured her and brought a smile to her face.

Listening to Michael drone on last night had been unbearable. The seductive lilt of her memory had been revealed as reptilian. Driving home she had thought the rain poetic the drops washing away her delusions. And rather than feel sad, she had felt free, finally unfettered from her past. Just what she might have done next, was a mystery, because before she could begin piecing that out, she'd seen a young man flagging her down.

Lisa's bloody face floated before her eyes and Beth sagged against the table. Just a young girl looking for love, finding the worst boy and paying with her life. Another unneeded reminder not to waste what little time one had the Earth. Beth wasn't about to waste another second, she could spend with the man she loved. Decided she turned and hurried up her stairs calling, "Conwell we're going to see Jack!"  
____________


	5. Aftermath V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Beth's Chance Encounter with Lisa and hypothermia, Beth and Jack have to determine where their relationship goes next.

By the time Beth climbed in her car, an icy mixture of sleet and snow was pelting against the windshield. She had been ready to leave a good half hour before and had been debating whether to call Isabel or a taxi for the ride when her doorbell rang. Constable Warren and his son stood in the doorway; the young boy proudly holding up her keys. The lad Warren explained had spent a good two hours in a field with his brand-new metal detector locating the keys. As such, Beth had no recourse but to invite them in for a slice of cake. While she and Constable finished their coffee, the boy had romped in her garden with Conwell.

After they left Beth had packed the remaining half of the cake and the soup from the night before, placing it in the back seat of her car. After hiking Jack was generally utterly exhausted sleeping for a few hours, followed by manifestations of ravenous hunger. Often she'd wake to find him frying eggs in the middle of the night to appease his appetite. A bowl of soup would provide hydration as well as quell his hunger, she reasoned.

Climbing into the front seat she glanced at her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Gone was the heavy makeup and more elaborate hairdo she had donned for her meeting with Michael. In fact, she had not taken any real pains with her clothing. Two nights before she had paid for her vanity with a cold drenching. Not to mention that Jack on his best days seemed blithely unaware of her wardrobe on any level. He tended to say things such as, "You always look pretty" as a generic panacea for not ever noticing a thing she wore. It was another of the little irritations she had used to convince herself that they didn't suit one another, whereas she now realized it was merely a single thread in the larger fabric of their relationship. Besides given his hours long hike she doubted Jack would notice much of anything. And it hardly mattered, Jack's response to her proposal would hardly hinge on if she wore cotton or silks. Turning the key in the engine she only hoped Jack's hike had worn away his reluctance and brought him round to her way of thinking.  
________  
Driving in the dusky blue gray of late afternoon, Beth surveyed the landscape with a nagging unease. Early winter in the Peaks was a messy, ugly mass of colors; a smattering of brown, black, and dirty white. She tried to ignore the denuded, arthritic trees twisting out seemingly stretching toward the roads. She forced her vision on the road ahead, clutching the wheel with such force it rendered her knuckles white. In only a few minutes just as twilight dropped down, Jack's cottage came into view. Stopping the car Beth saw a single lamp light illuminating the a lone window, a beacon welcoming her, drawing her out of the darkness. She sighed feeling a relief she could not categorize, but for which she felt deeply grateful.  
____________  
Grabbing the bag with the soup and cake, Beth strode purposefully toward the cottage. Juggling the bag and her purse she fished out the cottage keys. She had never returned Jack's key. Oh she had rational reasons why she kept it. He might need it or if he went away she might need to drop in… The reality, she belatedly realized, was she never really let him go. The same reason his framed picture was still on her bedside table. The same way even though they had split up they still spent most of their time together.

She had once accused Isabel of hanging off her husband's arms, well she and Jack weren't even married and they were already hanging off each other's arms, all in each other's pockets. If she had simply thought about that fact, instead of just reacting to her fears, that might have illuminated what she actually wanted. It was all so clear in hindsight. She only hoped Jack would come to feel the same.  
___________  
Stepping inside his cottage, Beth heard the low din of radio four. Conwell nudged past her jogging off to the blanket and Kermit the frog chew toy, Jack kept in the kitchen for him. Given how he and Constable Warren's son had romped around the yard, Beth figured Conwell was well ready for a snooze. Closing and locking the door behind her, Beth strolled into the kitchen. She deposited the food in a eternally well-stocked refrigerator. Switching off the radio she turned and walked down the dark hall toward the dimly illuminated bedroom.  
____________  
A single shaft of golden light illuminated Jack who lay sprawled across the mattress. Beth took in his bare shoulders and a single red pajama clad leg peaking out from the covers. The sight was not unfamiliar every time Jack went on one of the rescue hikes he would return absolutely exhausted; sleeping for hours. Beth relished the opportunity to watch him at such an unguarded moment.

Experiencing a sudden pressing need to touch him, Beth leaned down caressing his cheek with the heel of her palm. Jack mumbled something drowsily without waking. Kissing his brow lightly, Beth turned from him stepping toward his wardrobe. Pulling out one of his oldest and softest flannel shirts, she draped it over her arm. Crossing to the bathroom, she walked in closing the door.  
__________  
The whooshing of the toilet followed by a single exclamation of profanity woke Jack. "Beth?" He mumbled sleepily pulling himself upwards.

"It's me darling," She reassured him, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Interesting dress code." He remarked taking in the sight of her in his old shirt, and in response offering a lazy, contented smile.

"You bought it." She reminded him crossing the room.

Lifting the sheet and blankets up so Beth could slip into bed, Jack observed, "Looks a good bit better on you."

Beth shot him a glance mock warning him, "You had better think it does." After a moment she asked worriedly, "Is it okay my being here?"

Jack rolled on to his side sleepily telling her, "Gran warned me about girls like you." He stifled a yawn reminding her, "I'm just an innocent lad from the North, not used to your posh bird ways. Climbing into a defenseless lad's bed when he's dying of mountain sickness."

"Posh?" Beth scoffed chuckling. "Will calls me a Bolshie and you think I'm posh."

"Posh Bolshie," Jack amended teasingly, "Feeling better?"

"Warmer."

"No need for a cuddle then."

In response Beth slid closer to him admitting, "Always a need for that." She sighed when his arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer still. "I've missed this…"

"Climbing into my bed trying to have your way with me?"

Beth giggled amending her response, "Being here like this with you."

"Is a bit nice." Jack conceded yawning.

"How were the rescuees?"

"Pasties and glucose, hydration." He recited tiredly. "Fine and by the end triumphant…"

The image of Lisa floated in front of Beth's eyes and she closed her eyes to push it away. Trying to refocus her attention Beth confided, "Good for you then."

Jack's head dropped and he said apologetically, "Sorry love didn't think how that would sound."

Beth shook her head admitting, "I suppose this one is going to take a while to shrug off."

Jack tightened his hold reminding her, "You did everything you could."

"Just not enough," She noted resting her head against his forehead. "But let's not talk about that now."

"Okay," He granted amiably, "What shall we talk about?"

"Us," She said decidedly, opting to share.

"A fascinating and endless subject." He said sarcastically.

Beth smiled at him before musing, "I spent a lot of that miserable time considering the subject."

Sensing her seriousness Jack prodded asking, "And?"

"I kept thinking about all the little things I was afraid I'd never do with you again."

Jack playfully arched his eyebrow asking, "Such as?"

Beth laid back against his pillow admitting, "You'll laugh…but all the different funny ways you say Dr. Glover…" She smiled at the flush of pleasure Jack displayed. "The times we made dinner together, watching you watch football on television…Sunday afternoons listening to the radio and reading, while you napped on the sofa."

"You wanted to do that stuff?" He asked critically proclaiming, "I sound dead boring."

She hooked her arm around his hip, "Only for the next forty or so years."

"Sure you won't be bored?"

She shook her head, replying playfully, "I suppose though you will have to keep me on my toes with cuddles, backrubs, homecooked meals, and other romantic gestures to ensure you retain my full attention."

"Oh I have lots of ideas for retaining your attention. Lots," He punctuated his promise by kissing her nose.

"A little lower please," Beth requested raising her head.

Jack needed little encouragement, placing his lips on hers. The kiss quickly became heated, and Beth moved her hand wanting to draw him closer. The movement caused a single hot jolt of pain to travel across her wrist, and down each finger in hot angry waves that seemed to traverse every nerve. The intensity of the pain prevented her from restraining herself before she hissed wincing, "Awww."

Pulling away Jack asked concernedly, "Summat the matter?"

"My hand is just sore," She answered flexing the hand slowly and painfully. "Nothing really." She insisted albeit ineffectively.

Jack gently reached for her hand insisting, "I'll be the judge of that." He inspected the swollen hand as gently as he could. "Still a good bit of swelling," He judged frowning in concentration.

"It looks awful," She surveyed the hues of red, black and green creeping across her hand to her wrist with obvious disdain. While Beth did not have a great deal of vanity, the hand still revolted her sensibilities.

"Naw," He disputed her words, bringing her hand to his lips and dusting kisses just above the bandage. Without additional comment he returned her hand to the sheet muttering, "Just a minute…." He slid off the bed padding out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

Jack did not answer but he returned to the room moments later, rifling through his bag, answering distractedly, "We need to change that dressing." Placing the bag at the bottom of the mattress, he lifted out gauze, tape, and a tube of cream, inquiring mildly, "Level of pain?"

"Only a little, one or two."

"That bad huh, six or seven." At her aggrieved sniff Jack replied, "I don't suppose you took a painkiller."

"It's not nearly that bad."

"Obstinate patient." He muttered slowly unwinding the gauze from her wrist. Removing the final layer of gauze Jack shifted into professional mode, "Still a bit inflamed. Best put a couple of pillows under on your hands tonight." He made his suggestion while softly massaging the cream into her skin.

She frowned observing crossly, "Of all the variations I can imagine on playing doctor this is unquestionably the least interesting."

"I'm almost done," He promised softly. True to his word he laid a clean bandage atop the wound and sealed it in place with two pieces of tape. Rising he offered, "I'll get you an analgesic."

She sighed dismissively. "I don't really need that."

He stepped into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet insisting, "Yes you do."

"It is sore rather than painful."

"I heard, I heard." Jack granted walking to her side of the bed. Handing her a glass of water and then two tablets, he advised. "These should help."

"It's only sore…" She protested again feebly.

"Take it anyway."

Beth shrugged and swallowed the pills. She watched him walk into the hall, clearly returning his bag to the hall table where he always kept it. He was back in seconds stepping into the bathroom. The sound of the tap didn't down out his words as he observed. "You are still recovering, if you were one of your patients, you'd order rest and recuperation."

"Well as I am sprawled out in bed, having my medical needs seen to by a very handsome doctor I believe I am following the prescription rather well." She relaxed against the mattress enjoying this byplay. "In fact, I place myself under your exclusive care."

"Not sure that's a good idea, Beth." He stepped back into the room and sat down at the foot of the bed. He bent down slightly resting his head in his palms. The position he assumed, and the tightness of his shoulder blades conveyed a tension Beth had not previously detected. Freed from the cocoon of bed, his doubts had emerged flying free and unfettered.

"Is it because of Michael…my going to meet him."

Jack shook his head saying, "No I think you are being honest about Michael. But there are other issues."

Sensing there was something beneath these surface issues concerning him, Beth implored him, "Tell me what's worrying you."

Jack stayed silent for a long moment clearly considering just how to phrase his concerns. "A few weeks ago, I asked you to marry me, and you turned me down cold." There was less recrimination in his words than concern. "Now you go through this terrible ordeal, and you ask me to marry you." Before she could respond he hurried on adding, "I just don't want you to wake up in a few weeks feeling like you made a mistake. Like I suckered you into it or you just settled for what you could get."

Beth crawled over toward him, nestling her head on his shoulder sharing, "All that night laying out in the cold, I thought a lot about my past. All the wrong roads, every mistake I made." She slid closer to Jack the chill of even the memory frightening in its implications. "A few weeks ago, you said I didn't know what I wanted…but when I woke up and you were holding me, I knew exactly what I wanted."

"Someone to warm you up." It was a feeble attempt at a joke flailing in its delivery.

"You to warm me up, and love me, and be by my side for the rest of our lives." She spoke on sharing, "You as my partner, my lover, my very best friend, and my husband." She wrapped her arms around his chest continuing, "It was so clear to me that all the doubts and questions they didn't matter, you mattered, and we mattered and that was all." She stole a look at him, finding his expression inscrutable. "All those doubts vanished replaced by absolute certainty. I was sure of us." Nestling her head against his Beth could barely hear her own voice as she pleaded, "Jack I know I hurt you, but please, please don't push me away."

Jack looked down for a moment before admitting weakly, "I've never been any good at pushing you away. I always want you closer." Beth's beaming smile faded at the way he looked away asking, "Did you wonder why I was at your house that night?"

"I hadn't actually." She left unspoken the fact that she was beginning to wonder. Still she kept her arms linked around him, hoping to provide whatever comfort she could offer.

"I went to the dinner."

Beth chuckled asking teasingly, "And how wrecked did you get?"

"Enough to discuss love with Will."

Beth frowned muttering incredulously. "Will discussing love, I thought he was entirely to English for that."

"He asked me when the last time I told you I loved you was…" He shook his head self-reproachingly. "I realized I didn't remember."

"We weren't together." She felt a dawning realization, "And you were waiting for me to come home to tell me."

Jack turned toward Beth cupping her cheek with his hand, "My feelings never changed, I love you." Beth leaned into his touch listening as he confided, "I never stopped loving you…. That's what I went to tell you."

"Darling," Beth cried embracing him in relief, leaning down and sprinkling kisses across his shoulder blade.

He looked up fearfully continuing, "Beth if it takes me getting wrecked and you nearly freezing to death to bring us back together… what does that say about us?"

Beth rested her hands on his shoulders answering, "I think we have both spent some miserable months feeling confused, wanting each other, needing each other, but not knowing how to find our way back." She waited a moment letting her words sink in before continuing, "For whatever hell that night has caused somehow, it's brought us back together." She smiled admitting, "I really don't care that it took you getting wrecked or me getting a sore hand…I'm just so happy that however it happened…. it did happen." She leaned forward kissing his cheek. "Let's not question or overthink it, love." She urged gently suggesting, "Let's just be happy…." She looked at him studying his expression, imploring him to understand the depth of her feelings.

"You make me so happy." Jack confessed relief filling his words and his eyes brightening.

"Good," Beth leaned forward kissing him again. "Now can we get back under the covers? You know I hate a cold bed."

Jack slid across the mattress pushing the sheets back. After he settled back under the covers, Beth rolled beside him. "Much better," She rested her head on his shoulder, wanting to reassure him in every possible way verbal and physical of her proximity.

Jack rested his head back against the headboard, "Do you remember the first dinner we had at your house?"

Beth smiled at the memory, "I remember you did a runner." The memory of that kiss had done a number on her for a long while afterward, up until then she had convinced herself no one could compare to Michael. Then a Geordie doctor kissed her evoking a passion she had no idea she even possessed, much less expected to ever demonstrate.

'I did," He admitted sounding slightly abashed, "But I was thinking about that conversation we had. We were different in every way."

"We aren't so different anymore." Beth snuggled into his shoulder admitting, "Last week I was late for morning surgery, I slept through the Bach on my alarm." She confessed explaining, "It seems I now need Clapton and Hendrix to wake up in the morning."

Jack rested his head against hers sharing, "Funnily enough the other night I put on some Bach while I showered."

Beth smiled reminding him of an ongoing debate, "Bach and Beethoven are for bubble baths."

"A Gordie does not take bubble baths." He declared firmly justifying, "Gotta keep up me macho pride. And," He insisted emphatically as if putting a period on a sentence. "We don't wear rings either."

"I don't care about your jewelry," She answered lightly, "But I am going to drag you into a bubble bath with me at the soonest opportunity," She vowed smiling mischievously at the prospect, "Even if you have all your clothes on." She turned softly kissing his neck.

"That is never ever going to happen," He vowed determinedly, a cheeky grin crossing his face. "But I'm glad the ring thing won't be an issue."

"Why would I care if you wear a ring…" Beth sat up the sudden meaning of what he was implying dawning on her besieging, "Jack?"

"I will." He agreed matter of factly, "Marry you…. if the offer still stands."

"It stands." She replied flatly before giggling, feeling a kind of euphoria in the warm house with the man she loved, her future husband at her side. Angling her head, she began dragging her lips along his jawline trailing kisses until she met his lips.

Jack turned slightly to better position himself before melding their lips. For a moment, the rustle of the wind distracted her. "Beth?" He spoke worriedly fretting, "Should we stop, are you in pain?"

She leaned forward wrapping her arms around his shoulders promising, "Sorry love…" She said marveling, "I was just thinking this is exactly where I want to be."

Jack eyed her his tone turning husky as he inquired, "How badly does that hand hurt?"

Catching his tone Beth replied feeling suddenly euphoric and so, so blissfully happy. "I suppose that depends entirely on what you're offering." She said in the arch received pronunciation delivery that never failed to make Jack laugh.

Laughing and pulling her closer Jack intoned, "Come here, Dr. Glover."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sniff so this is the end of Jack and Beth's post Aftermath saga. But I have a few more drabbles I'll play around with and hopefully post. Around November I hope to start publishing my next multichapter fic where Professor Sam Ryan meets Inspector Robert Lewis. So I hope some of you take that journey with me. And please know that I do treasure every kudo, review and pm so much.


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